Home > Time out! > I’m just a girl…

I’m just a girl…

”The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection.” (George Orwell)
 

        I’ve been there, I’ve done that…

Lately I have realised how wrong I was struggling to be PERFECT. I have finally understood why I was feeling so tired, almost exhausted at the end of  every day… Why I was so disappointed at myself. Why I was feeling so dissatisfied with many aspects of my life… Simply because my mind was set on achieving perfection in each and every situation! But, one day, out of the blue, I have figured out that I am only a human being and I should stop trying to play the role of the perfect teacher, the perfect daughter, the perfect lover, the perfect friend and companion, etc. STOP. THAT’S IT. No more Miss Trying to be Perfect! No person notices your efforts anyway, they are just there waiting for you to make a wrong step, the slightest mistake, so they can immediately tell you how imperfect you are.

I really made a mistake when I thought I could be the perfect professional that knows the answers to all questions, helps her colleagues unconditionally, without waiting for something in return,  is absolutely flawless in her behaviour… Such things do not exist, one way or the other there comes a time when you make a mistake, simply because you have a bad day or a health problem… or it just happens… Although you spend a lot of time feeling miserable and guilty afterwards, for disappointing those who trusted you and all so on, you cannot do anything about it…

The same goes for the personal life… If you struggle to fill in the role of the Perfect daughter, that always listens to her parents, gets good grades in school, is the teachers’ favourite, wins a scholarship at the University, finds a well-paid job… but one day just quits it because she dreams of something else… boom!!!! The myth of the Perfect girl breaks into million pieces. And you start feeling bad, you see something different in your parents’ eyes, you hear a lot of unspoken words of disapproval… After some sleepless nights you get used to all these, you keep repeating to yourself that you’re entitled to make personal choices. After all, it’s all about your life, your ups and downs…

The moment you discover that, even though you have been trying really hard to be the Perfect lover, your efforts do not matter at all, is a very difficult one. Yet, better late than never. You open your eyes widely and face the naked truth: cannot be perfect as you are just a girl, with all your ”curves and all your edges”. In time, I have learnt that men tend not to observe how hard you try to be Perfect for them and take it for granted. If you only stop being like that for a second, maybe because you are a bit under the weather, they immediately reproach you have changed, you don’t pay any attention to them, etc., etc.

So, after all these I said to myself that I should just be myself, act as naturally as possible, and expose my ”perfect imperfections”. They make us unique and loveable, not the pointless fight to achieve Perfection!

Be wise and imperfect!

Regards,

The (imperfect) EnglishTeach

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